The Leather Identity Project

Mixer: gay, straight, & bi

2012-03-09T06:08:00.001-08:00

The leather community is a diverse and dynamic place. We're divided along lines of orientation, gender, and protocol level. Sometimes we all come together and celebrate, but more commonly we gather with those like ourselves. I've always seen the Leather Community as both sexual and social. Individual limitations of the former drastically influence the latter. How do you feel about the social and sexual mixing of individuals of different backgrounds?

-click here to participate in the survey-

GUIDE: Leatherwear Basics

2012-02-17T11:14:00.000-08:00

One thing that the "Barrier to Entry" survey made painfully obvious was a lack of easy to find guides for those intimidated by entering leather community. I'll be adding handouts to the guides section of the site. These are by no means intended to be exhaustive sources of information, but are intended to be a quick reference guide for those looking for a place to start. My first handout gives some basic leather-wear advice for those who think they don't have anything to wear. In truth nearly everyone has the right clothing to wear into a leather bar.

DATA: Barrier to Entry (leather bar attendance)

2012-02-17T09:58:00.000-08:00

There are factors that keeppeople coming and keep people away from Leather Bars. This breakout will explore the reasons for both. At the end of the day, somepatience is necessary from the regulars and some adventurousnessis necessary from the newbies.

Geography and parking is the biggest barrier keeping people away from bars. The simple fact is their can't be a bar in every town, and traveling to the city isn't an option for everyone. I'm working on a guide for those who are looking for a sense of community without having geographic access to a Leather or Leather friendly bar. There are ways to develop a sense of community without traveling, sometimes it simply means opening up your mind.

I've organized some of the most common factors keeping people coming and keeping people away in the lists below. I've paired reasons by disconnect.

KeepsPeople Coming	KeepsPeople Away
not too loud edgy bartenders are friendly tag along with kinky partner friendly relaxed atmosphere community sense of belonging HIV accepting clubs see same faces meet likeminded people mentoring atmosphere comfortable wearing gear exhibitionism know what others are into by look scuttlebutt (gossup) cruising smoking areas	too loud nervous rude staff partner is vanilla arrogant uninviting sub groups clicks inexperienced dark grose bathrooms no one dresses up drama being judged smoking areas

The takeaway from this list is that there are no simple solutions. I've broken my advice into three categories; advice for bars, advice for bar regulars, and advice for newbies. I'm not an expert here, but this advice is based on what people want. Everyone needs to put a little work in to make things better.

Bars:

Cleanliness: I know for a fact that my local bar cleans regularly, but basic facilities are a problem. People want clean bathrooms with closing stall doors. keeping the bath facilities well lit and sterile looking may take away from the ambiance, but it also sends a message that bathrooms arn't sex dens. Some patrons want a place to hook up, but many new ones are intimidated by not having a comfortable place to piss.
Smoking Areas: Not everyone is into cigar smoke. Enough people are that it should be available, but make sure the smoking area is separate from the rest of the bar so non-smoking patrons won't get turned off.
Websites: I went to a lot of web sites, and none were good sources of information about leather bars or leather bar culture. Guides about etiquette, basic dress do's and don'ts, and well kept calendars are key. People are regularly upset about parking, so if you are mass transit accessible let people know that on the site.
Changing Areas: Many bars have lockers available to remove layers once you get there. If you're bar has such facilities advertise that fact.
Welcome Feedback: Tradition is an important part of leather bar culture, but that doesn't mean things shouldn't change when they aren't working. You shouldn't ignore valuable feedback simply because "You can't please everyone."

Regulars:

Be Less Judgmental: You were new once too. The young man or woman dressed inappropriately or behaving disrespectfully may not know any better. If you want bars to thrive into the future then you have to help bring new people into the fold. It's also important to let them put their generation's spin on the community.
Wear Gear: Instead of bitching about no one wearing gear, gear up yourself. There is no reason for anyone else to dress up if you aren't willing to first.
Be Friendly: You don't have to want to have sex with someone to be polite to them. You also don't need to take every person under your wing to be friendly. New people regularly see members of the community as rude to outsiders. We know how supportive the community can be, don't turn someone off before they can discover that for themselves. Remember that the "twinks" who came out in a group may be uncomfortable coming alone. They may just need a mentor or a friendly face to keep them coming out.
Come Out More: If you're sick of bars being empty then come out more.
Check the Drama at the Door: Club, bar, and title politics are a constant source of gossip and drama at the bar. To an outsider it can sound like leather men are a bunch of backstabbing jerks.
Speak Up: Leather bar managers and owners have to walk a type rope to keep as many people happy as possible. Support their efforts to try new things, but also don't be afraid to respectfully express your point of view.

Newbies:

Evaluate Your Priorities: Do you want a D/s relationship, or do you want a community? There is absolutely no reason you can't have both, but sometimes searching for a Sir or a slave can prevent you from seeing possible friendships that could support you in your journey. Making friends in the community also helps you network in a way that online personal sites never could.
Be Outgoing: Regulars see leather bars as a welcoming place that creates a sense of family and community. This atmosphere doesn't need to be hard to break into. If you feel unwelcome, try to remember that you are the new one. People should be more friendly, but so should you. It's your job to try and introduce yourself. Although they may seem clicky from the outside try to look for club nights at bars, clubs often want new members. Even thought you may not want to join, it's a good way to meet people and no one will mind if you remain a GDI (God Damn Independent).
Its about Sex & Community: Although people do hook up at leather bars, it's not the only reason people go. You don't have to want to have sex to go. Many are there to talk and have fun too. Often those looking for sex are in different areas of the bar than those who are there to socialize. If you want to meet people go to where people are talking, not making out. Also consider that you don't only have to talk to people you are attracted to. That "old man" on a bar stool could be an invaluable source of information and friendship.

We often hear about reaching out to "young people" when talking about keeping the community alive. We can see below that those born between 1981 and 1990 are as likely to attend leather bars monthly as those born a decade earlier. In all likelihood their attendance is growing. Those born between 1961 and 1970 are the most likely to attend regularly, but those older drop off quickly.

One regular anomaly is the dip in those born between 1971 and1980. This absence is present in nearly every survey. Becausethese individuals would have been in their 20's during the 1990'sone could assume their absence is a continuing legacy of the AIDSepidemic. The positive outcome of those terrible years is that theLeather community is largely accepting of those who are HIVpositive. This acceptance is strength of leather bars and theleather community at large. Although some choose not to playsafer, the leather bars are a place where being positive doesn'tneed to be a secret shame.

Monthly attendees of leather bars tend to be mixed by role, butthe "regulars" tend to be subs and Doms. Being able to expressprotocol in an accepting environment was a common reason thatkeeps people coming out. Switches consistently have the highestparticipation in LIP surveys, but we can see here that they mayfrequent leather bars, but don't necessarily make them their home.

My final take away is that leather bars are still attracting people. Attendance may be down, but as homosexuality becomes more mainstream we can expect a smaller counter culture community. That means that those of us that remain need to be more tolerant of each other. Specializing your identity is empowering, but also chops up community resources. Be yourself, but work together and respect differences.

- view the unedited raw data for this survey -

SURVEY: Does your mother know?

2012-01-25T12:18:00.002-08:00

During Mr. MAL 2011's very motivational and energetic step-down speech he brought his parents to the stage. This made me cry like a baby. Maybe it was the fact that my husband was in the contest and I was already emotional, but it is always moving when someone shares the community with their biological family.

The leather community is a fundamental part of my social life, and sometimes it's uncomfortable living in both worlds. I make a lot of choices of what I share with family, vanilla friends, and co-workers. At the end of the day I consider my involvement in the leather community to be such a positive experience that everyone knows, even if I leave out some of the details about sex. This survey explores what you share about your involvement in the leather community.

This survey is now closed. Please click here to see open surveys.

DATA: Happy ______!

2012-01-25T12:18:00.001-08:00

Before joining the leather community my winter holidays were uniformly Christmas oriented. Now I have friends of many faiths and exposure to more and more people from different backgrounds have introduced me to new traditions. The leather community is one of choice, and consequently it's a melting pot that society at large could never be. I wanted this survey to be an exploration of what is considered to be one of the happiest, if not most stressful, times of year.

Christmas and New Years are the most celebrated holidays, but Winter Solstice has a significant percentage of participants. I was surprised how few participants reported celebrating Hanukah. It will be interesting to explore the religious elements of this survey in a future survey.

This survey reviled that those not close their families are twice as likely to spend the holidays alone, and also a third less likely to spend it with a significant other. My survey didn't ask how many wanted to spend the holidays alone, but it does show that only half of those who spend the holiday season alone also do not celebrate any holidays at all.

Chosen families are an important component of the leather community. One community leader often refers to his home as "the island of misfit toys," which is particularly relevant considering it references a Christmas holiday classic. Loosing ties with one's biological family is an unfortunate reality for some. Creating new families is a powerful option. Nearly half of participants entertain during the holidays. If you are fortunate enough to be near a leather bar, some are open 365 days a year, including holidays.

- view the unedited raw data for this survey -

UPDATE: Clarification on "Sex Role Preferences"

2012-01-25T12:18:00.000-08:00

I'd like to take a moment to clarify one of the questions I use in every survey. It is my view that human sexuality is far more complicated than defining between dominant and submissive. In fact I have a three dimensional view of sexuality shown in the chart below.

The reason I ask everyone to define themselves as dom, sub, or switch is because I believe sex role preference influences opinions in the community. For me, sex role is limited to dominant, submissive, and switch because I consider "level of sexuality" and "level of kinkiness" as separate dimensions of sexuality. People can be anything from asexual doms to vanilla subs. I've also deliberately simplified the vocabulary to preclude words which have different meanings in different circles. Subs and doms do not always see eye to eye and switches often see issues differently. I ask you to define yourself not because I am trying to box you in, but because it's a spectrum that everyone falls on. If you feel that neither "dom" or "sub" defines you, I challenge you to ask "do I desire to take or give control to an other?" If you do both depending on sexual chemistry, then perhaps you should consider identifying as a switch.

I also draw a destination between labels and sex role preferences. Some labels are clearly defined as dominant or submissive, others are not. I am a boy, but I see myself as a switch much of the time. I've learned a lot in my years and situations arise where I feel more comfortable taking control. These roles are fluid, so if you feel dominant today, it doesn't mean you have to identify as "dominant" tomorrow.

Survey: 'Barrier to Entry,' attendance at leather bars

2012-01-05T09:01:00.000-08:00

For some, leather bars are the center of our social universe. They represent a second home, a meeting place for all of our friends and 'family.' For others they are unwelcoming holes that don't tolerate those who break from the pack.

Whatever your view point, leather and leather friendly bars are an important part of our subculture. While some notable bars have closed in the past few years, it is good to see other bars taking the opportunity to open their doors to the leather community. I hope this indicates that leather bars, in general, are here to stay.

The aim of this survey is to explore what keeps people coming back to leather bars and also what prevents those who attend leather events like MAL from frequenting bars. I've opted for free form answers in parts of this survey, which adds a lot of work for me when I tabulate. I hope those taking the survey will take the opportunity to speak up on what they love and hate about leather bars.

This survey is now closed, data will be out soon. You may participate in our open surveys by clicking here.

DATA: Relationship Models

2011-12-28T07:47:00.000-08:00

Relationships in the Leather Community are often interesting to those looking from outside. We often attempt to model our relationship in a particular way. There is no perfect formula, and no two relationships are alike, but people do tend to choose from a few standard options.

Cheating, jealousy, and equality are all issues in most relationships. In the Leather Community we've attempted to address these "problems' by establishing parameters to define appropriate conduct.

I asked if jealously was a problem instead of asking if there was jealousy because I wanted to explore how relationships addressed it. My husband an I are in an open relationship with rules and one of the ways we address jealousy is by allowing a "veto rule." Although both of us have been angry when the other invoked the rule, we've always talked about it after emotions have subsided and are often able to defuse the original cause of the jealousy. With D/s relationships I'm curious how each party defuses jealousy without creating tension.

As the same sex marriage became a political issue it was opposed as a focus by some in the Leather Community. It was often described as the "wrong issue." I herd this far more often by those in D/s relationships than by those in other relationship models. We can see this sentiment clearly below.

While I am not surprised by this question's answers, I can't help but wonder how those outside of the community would have answered it. Equality in relationships is a major issue, in the Leather Community it is addressed by rules in a way that non-protocol based relationships do not.

Roles are individual to most relationships. We all establish standard behavioral practices when at home and in public. I believe those in the Leather Community tend to talk about it more. Roles are often organic and change over time. How is this reality accommodated when protocol defines roles?

- view the unedited raw data for this survey -

Survey: Happy _________! (Closes 1/1/2012)

2011-11-30T06:51:00.000-08:00

Happy holidays from the Leather Identity Project! This time of year family and friends tend to mean the most to us. It's a time to come together in celebration and hope.

This month I'd like to explore who you are spending the holiday season with. Whether that be with your biological family or the family you've made, this is a time to pull together.

Please take the time to fill out the survey by clicking this link.

DATA: What are you into?

2011-11-17T07:32:00.000-08:00

I started this survey as a fun way to explore the prevalence of kinks in the community and explore a number of talking points. Fetishes like "leather," "bondage," and "S&M" were nearly universal, but for many less common and less specific fetishes are what get them to come out in the first place.

We are often talking about "inviting new people into the community" and how "the leather community embraces individuality," but we have a lot of rules too. Sometimes our "limits" turn off the newbies.

Over 40% of those polled are into sports gear. It's one of the most popular kinks out there. Fewer than 3% consider it a limit. Given this disconnect why do I frequently hear about how "it's not appropriate." Similar stats are true for rubber and other gear fetishes. I'm not the first to suggest that Leather is gear, and although I agree that it’s HOT, it also has a high cost component. For many people sports gear, lycra, and neoprene are HOT for a lower cost. By limiting appropriate attire we are preventing those new to the scene from coming in at all. Sure, there are events like "Leather Cocktails" and other formal events where you wouldn't want someone in a wrestling singlet or football pads, but the success of events like CODE in DC show the power of inviting everyone out.

"Inviting young people into the community" is often a talking point in conversations. I was fortunate to have two sources of guidance when entering the community, my friend Ruff and the members of the DC boys of Leather. Both taught me that this community is about being yourself, playing safe, and having fun. By expecting a high standard for entry we are providing a disservice to those finding partners online and taking unnecessary risks. If you don't believe they are taking unnecessary risks I invite you to look at the "Safe Sex" data for HIV status in those 20-30.

Kinks are fun! For many this community is one of few places where you can explore them without judgment. I had the benefit of teachers who helped me explore my kinks safely, and I do my best to do the same for others.

- view the unedited raw data for this survey -

- send us feedback or help decide the next topic -

November Update

2011-11-01T04:16:00.000-07:00

This is certainly a busy time for leather folks. There is a title almost every weekend, and the colder weather makes wearing full leather more fun. Our "What are you into?" data will be coming out soon and the results are fascinating. I'm still debating how best to break it out, but there are some surprises in there.

As you probably already are aware we've launched the "Labels and Identity 2" survey this month as well. I'd like to take some time explaining why we're exploring the labels included in the survey and why others were excluded. As with most things, why not use a venn diagram to shed some light on the situation! This diagram is simplifies gender in the community a bit, but it does explain my dilemma.

One of the things I enjoyed about the "What is a boy?" data was the distinctive difference between how boys saw themselves verses non-boys. I wanted to do the same for other labels as well. Unfortunately that meant that we would not have enough identifying with female labels to create an accurate self image of Mistresses, Madamns, girls, ect. I also did not want to clump Mistress/Master together because they are two distinct identities. My solution to this problem is to allow those identifying with under-represented labels a chance to expand on their identity with a paragraph section of the survey. I'll be exploring these labels in a different way in the near future based on the result. In the mean time the female and trans folks in our audience can help increase awareness of the project by mentioning this site on Facebook, Twitter, and on your website or blog.

Current Surveys

	Labels and Identity 2 (Closes 12/31/11): This survey will take inventory of labels and percentage of people using them. The "What is a boy?" survey provided a dynamic image of boys beyond their often submissive role. The "Labels and Identity 2" survey aims to do the same for other labels.
	Relationship Models (Closes 11/30/11): The second and final month of the "Relationship Models" survey is here. This survey explores several common relationship models out there as well as their dynamic in terms of jealously and roles away from home. What kind of relationship works for you? The results of this survey will help us explore each model in more detail later.

Project Data

I would love to hear from you! My continuing goal is to keep this project interesting, unbiased and interactive. I am a one man show here, so I take your feedback to heart. Overall charts and graphs aren't as exciting as sex sites, but they do help us understand each other better when we're not getting it on.

Send us feedback or help decide the next topic

Survey: Labels and Identity 2

2011-10-28T06:08:00.000-07:00

A lot has changed since I launched the first "Labels and Identity" survey almost three years ago. I've also learned a lot from the "What is a boy?" survey. I toyed with exploring "puppies" this month, and "slaves" a few months after that, but it seemed to make a lot more sense to look at as many labels as possible all at once.

Like my original survey I'll be taking inventory of the labels and percentage of people using them. I'll also take a much narrower focus than my original by exploring things much as I did for "What is a boy?" For many, labels are an important part individual identity. They allow us to destinguish ourselves from others while simultaneously connecting with something bigger than ourselvs. They tell others who we are without requiring explanations. The negative side to labels is that they also invite generalizations. The "What is a boy?" survey provided a dynamic image of boys beyond their often submissive role. The "Labels and Identity 2" survey aims to do the same for other labels.

You may participate in this survey by clicking here.

DATA: Switch Up!

2011-10-27T05:20:00.000-07:00

Role reversal and switching can often be a contentious issue in discussion groups. Interestingly enough, the community is fairly unified on this topic. Role reversal is most debated in circles which emphasize fixed roles, often those in D/s relationships. Our "Relationship Models" survey explores the prevalence of different relationship models including D/s ones where protocol plays a visible role.

This survey deliberately applies its questions to individuals. Its data shows that the community is fairly unified in their approval of role reversal.

Why the uneven breakdown of age groups? Each age group has greater than 25 participants.

Any number fewer than 25 is too few to be considered random.

To view the unedited raw data for this survey click here

October Update

2011-09-28T08:05:00.000-07:00

Onto month five in our rebooted experiment. We've put out two data sets and will be releasing the "Switch Up!" data this month. We're also finally attracting more women and trans folks to the project. All I can say is "welcome and please be patient." Right now we are male heavy and breaking the data apart by gender wouldn't present a fair sample of women and trans folks, but that day is coming. Things are getting interesting and soon enough we'll be able to combine data across surveys to see a bigger picture.

Current Surveys

	Switch up! (Closes 9/30/11): This survey explores roll reversal and switching within the community. Do you think it's ok for a Dom to be a sub on a occasion? How about a sub as a Dom? Should exploration result in a fixed role? We'll stop collecting data in a couple days and releasing the report this month.
	What are you into? (Closes 10/31/11): "What are you into?" is a basic question we've all heard before. How prevalent are different kinks? How about different limits? Perhaps that secret fetish of yours isn't so unusual. Go ahead, it's anonymous, you don't need to be shy.
	Relationship Models (Closes 11/30/11): Describing relationships in the kinkster lifestyle can be complicated. This survey explores the complexities of different relationship models.

Project Data

DATA: Safe Sex

2011-09-14T05:52:00.000-07:00

One of the leather community's greatest strengths is its acceptance of HIV positive individuals. While stigma is still prevalent, members of the community tend to be more educated about the risks and how to "play safer" than their non-leather counterparts. How does increased acceptance effect how the community views bareback sex and bareback porn? Could it be possible that our emphasis on acceptance increases our tolerance of what others consider high risk behavior? These questions inspired this survey. Its data is outlined below.

This chart separates the data by HIV status and raises some interesting questions. HIV positive individuals are split on their views of the banning of bareback porn despite their higher likelihood to engage in bareback sex, approve of the selling and showing of bareback porn. Inversely, HIV negative individuals generally do not seek out bareback sex, disapprove of showing bareback porn at bars, but oppose its being banned.

What was most compelling was the differences between the 41-50 age group and the <21-30 age group. These groups have the highest rate of self reported HIV infection. They have very different views on banning of bareback porn, despite their common views about showing and selling it. Can this difference at least partially explained by their different views about whether or not bareback enthusiasm is a lifestyle?

In previous surveys I've realized that I should have asked more, or different questions. The same is true here. This data would have been more clear if I had asked "Do you enjoy bareback prorn?" or "Have you purchased bareback porn?" Perhaps we can explore this issue differently in the future.

Click the link here if you would like to see the unedited raw data of this survey.

Click here to receive future reports and surveys by email

SURVEY: Switch Up!

2011-08-29T16:01:00.000-07:00

In August & September we're taking on the topic of role reversal and switching. An awful lot of people explore role reversal at some point or another, and yet it’s not always an accepted practice. In our ‘Labels and Identity’ survey we learned that 68% of the community has switched roles at some point or another. We also learned that 50% of folks see themselves becoming more dominant or submissive into the future.

We accidentally included the wrong link in yesterday's update. The correct link is here.

September Update

2011-08-29T04:42:00.000-07:00

Our transition to blog format is nearly complete. Moving over to blogspot will give you greater control of how you consume our content and eliminate the need for us to rework and repost our surveys and data for multiple formats.

We currently have three surveys up and running.

"Safe Sex" (Closes 8/31) which explores the how people feel about bareback porn.
"Switch Up" (Closes 9/30) which exploring role reversal.
"What are you into?" (Closes 10/31) exploring the prevalence of kinks and limits in the community.

We also have posted our data for "What is a boy?" The most interesting tidbit is the following graph.

Can't wait to get the "Safe Sex" data up in the next couple weeks. This is a heated topic indeed!

SURVEY: What are you into?

2011-08-24T07:03:00.000-07:00

In September and October we'll be exploring kinks. This survey will be reposted periodically so we can track fetishes as they change over time.

There is generally "accepted" kinks and "off limit" kinks. In society at large most kinks are rejected as perversion, Why do those in the kink community judge what people are into at all? This is a chance to explore kinks without judgement or shame. Who knows, your "secret fetish" might be more common than you thought.

Take Survey

DATA: What is a boy?

2011-08-24T06:48:00.000-07:00

We use ‘boy’ as both an identity and as a label. This issue is approached at many events by holding panel discussions on the topic; the most useful include other labels/identities so the differences are made distinct. The one major obstacle this approach encounters is that ‘boy’ means something different to everyone.

While there are obvious differences in opinions, the data can be used so that boys/non-boys can better serve each other. Hopefully this information will better define what ‘boys’ want, what is expected of them, and how they’re perceived by those with less experience.

Demographics

Explaining the Data

This survey resulted in 145 submittals and 67 unique words. Many words were well represented and stand on their own. Similar under-represented words were combined.

service oriented (serve, service, accommodating)

dedicated (devoted, Loyal)

playful (playful, energetic,
mischievous, adventurous, young-at-heart)

sexuality & what they wear (sensual, sexy, hot, delicious, horny, clothing, full leather wearing, gear. leather)

slave like (slave, owned)

Proud (proud, strong, tough)

Attentive (attentive, pleasing)

boy/boi

The remaining words were unique and consequently were difficult to combine. For this reason they were categorized as "other." Many were excellent descriptive words, but represented less than 1% of submitted terms. Words in the “other” category are explored in the two charts below.

boys/non-boys and those who are not sure if they are boys

with/without experience with boys

Data Analysis

As a boy, I’ve noticed that there is often a difference between how boys see themselves and how non-boys see them. Often this problem is simply semantics, but other times it’s a fundamental problem.

The chart to the above shows this problem. We combined non-boys and those not sure (TNS) in red, and boys in blue.

The emphasis on sexuality and what boys wear as a common factor for many boys was particularly interesting. In this survey as many boys thought sexuality, and gear (defined as all fetish wear from leather to sports gear) were as those who thought submission was important. Those not sure saw masculinity and confidence as uniquely defining qualities in boys.

The full details separating boys, non-boys and TNS are detailed in the above chart. You can also examine the un-edited data by downloading the full PDF of this report.

Those with no experience of boys were the only ones to choose confidence as a defining quality of boys. They also see dedication in place of being “service oriented.”

It’s interesting that those who know boys do not see confidence. Perhaps it’s because so many boys seek out mentors to help give their lives direction. In either case it’s a topic worth discussion.

We also see that those with no personal experience of boys are more likely to see a boy as “slave like.” This means that boys and non-boys alike still have work to do to draw the distinctions between a boy and a slave.

A full breakdown of the differences between those with and without experience with boys is listed below.

download PDF of this data report

Safe Sex Survey closes 8/31/11

2011-08-23T03:48:00.000-07:00

Our "Safe Sex Survey" closes soon. If you haven't already, you can participate in the survey here. Otherwise the data will be coming up soon on the site.