Wednesday, February 6, 2013


Why is it hot?

Those that enjoy chastity enjoy that feeling that comes from being horned up. There is an energy to that sexual feeling that can be very gratifying. I find that I reach my peek of sexual frustration around two weeks and I become more interested in pleasing another man as it builds. There is some sexual release in physical contact and helping someone else get off. My submission comes to a head when I'm on edge. I reached out to Altairboy from Altairboy's Chastity Site, an excellent and comprehensive resource on chastity, for his perspective and he agreed by saying:
"Without a willing partner in the chastity "play" the whole exercise would be sorely lacking.  I mean, honestly, where is  the fun in solo play?"
Those Doms reading this should take note, you can keep a boy locked in chastity much longer if you see him from time to time and require more than simply being locked. There is more responsibility to being a key-holder than simply holding the key. Some people seek out "cyber key-holders," and get their stimulation through web cams or simple lack of access to their "junk," but it's never the same as having a key-holder you see regularly. It's the Dom's job to torment, stimulate, and ramp up the sexual frustration as high as possible. If the Dom allows the locked boy to serve him/her regularly the sky can be the limit. That service doesn't need to be physical.  Making the boy keep himself shaved, cut his hair the way you like, do your laundry, clean your house, watch porn, chat with guys on sex sites, or even requiring him to hook up with no release can all be very exciting. The boy is far less likely to cheat and figure out how to get off while in chastity or remove the device without your permission if he knows that you are part of the process.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

DATA: Race in the Leather Community

Race is a touchy subject. I wanted to approach this topic sensitively while also providing relevant information. I'd like to begin by apologizing for my language choices in this report. "White participants," "other races," and "non-white" are an unfortunate side effects of reducing information to numbers. I am very aware that differences between individuals from different racial and cultural backgrounds can be significant, but when reviewing the data I was ultimately exploring how white and non-white members of the community answered these questions differently.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

FETISH: The Leather Identity Project's focus for 2013.

The Leather Identity Project has always been my way to seriously explore topics and show common ground. I've focused on significant issues like labels and identity, HIV, sex role, family, and race. In 2013 I'll be taking the project into a different direction.

We all have limits. Blood, scat, permanent marks, women, and piss are among the most common from my "what are you into?" survey. While a fetishes can be an acquired tastes, they are usually already with us waiting to be discovered. Fetishes that are on the fringe of accepted practice, or at lest unpopular, invite jeering and negative jokes.

Like most people, I have limits. Scat grosses me out. I see BB as an unnecessarily risky behavior. PnP freaks the hell out of me. Never the less, we've all been in situations where a friend opens up about a fetish that turns us off. How did you respond? I've always done my best to be accepting of my friends "other interests." Heck, I'm into water sports and many think that's disgusting.

Next year I'll be exploring different fetishes. Popular sites to get information about safe exploration and etiquette. I'm also looking for experts on different fetishes to help out. You don't have to be the ultimate authority to help out. I want to know what turns you on about your fetish. What was your first experience? Have you ever done it in public? Do your friends know about it?

I'm including a form with this post asking people to contribute thoughts, information, and anyone willing to be interviewed about their fetish. Please take the time to look at the form.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Race in the Leather Community

I'm a thirty something year old white guy who was raised in an affluent suburb. My expieriences with race were limited before I became an adult. Maybe life before then limited exposure, or perhaps I was simply oblivious. I admit, in my younger years I was limited in my sexual attraction, but now I'm a far more equal opportunity play mate. People of color are sometimes disproportionately absent in the leather community.

How are you affected by race in the scene? Are you?

This survey is closed. Data is coming soon.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

"American Boys Bill of Rights"

While patrolling the web I came across this poster. It was published in 1947 as a toy add, but much of it applies to my view of what a leather boy is and what a leather boy deserves from the world. So it's a little gun rights heavy towards the end, but it has some elements that I think are missing from the emphasis of boy culture today. It says the following:
We… The Boys of America believe in these OUR RIGHTS: the right to LIBERTY, hard-won by our forefathers ~ the right to HAPPINESS that comes with the growth of a healthy body and mind ~ the right to TRAINING, thoughtfully planned by parents, school and church ~ the right to OPPORTUNITY, to live, learn, play and grow up in the time-honored traditions of a free people ~ and the right to learn to SHOOT SAFELY. We recognize and accept the responsibility imposed by these Rights. But ~ until we are old enough to vote we expect YOU ~ our fathers, mothers and other citizens who elect America’s city, county, state and federal officers ~ to be eternally vigilant that our RIGHTS be not abridged!

Friday, August 17, 2012

Leather Titles

I have mixed feelings about leather titles. I think those best served by leather titles are the title holders and contestants themselves. Running for a contest can be a huge confidence boost for the men and women who choose to compete. It takes guts to expose yourself on stage. For most, running for a title is a positive experience. In fact, more than half of those who have participated in a contest have competed in more than one. 69% of participants who have competed in a contest report that they have won at least one contest. If at first you don't succeed...

My husband is a title holder for this current year and winning has been an amazing experience for him. He's met people from across the country and made some lasting friendships. He also shows a comfort working a crowd that he never had before. This boost alone has increased his confidence at work and at home. He has kept his goals modest, simply to promote his bar and increase awareness of the leather community.

Unfortunately titles can also have a darker side to them. Winning can bring out the worst qualities in some people. It can also give false authority to a winner, allowing him or her to pass on bad or destructive information to new members of the community. Living under a microscope is a stressful experience, and this can push some to do negative things.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Leather Pride

Gay pride, take it or leave it, is a major part of urban life. Wether you like it or not, there is often a noticeable absence of leather visibility at pride. Perhaps the leather folks don't feel welcome to come out in leather, or perhaps its too damn hot. 

Whatever the reason I'm curious what you all with pride. Do you wear your leather, or at least some leather out to pride? Do you attend at all? This isn't a formal survey, but it's fun to see what people do.

Are you attending pride in leather or gear?