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Some may have noticed my sudden disappearance over the last year. This has extended into my leather life as well. I've been doing a lot of soul searching and I've come to question my role in the community and how the community serves me.
I got involved in the leather community after a particularly turbulent time in my life. I was at odds with my parents for the first time in my adult life, my long term relationship had come to a catastrophic end, and I turned my back on the pursuit of one of my life's dreams. I credit two things for getting me into the scene. Ruff and Ross, who helped me work past any kink shame I had and were always a hell of fun to be with, and the DC boys of Leather, who were welcoming and accepted me as I was.
In my early years one thing was clear to me; leather is supposed to be fun. I had a blast going to contests, runs, bar nights. I couldn't wait to put on my newest gear. Most importantly I always looked forward for an opportunity to be a boy. Being "in service" was well and good, I had plenty of opportunities for that, but I enjoyed being silly with other boys. At that time the DC boys was a "no Sirs allowed" space for me. In 2004 we only had a couple collared boys. By 2006 we were over 20 strong and still consisted mostly of independent boys.
I've never had an issue with a boy being collared. Being collared or not never had affect on the safe space of the DC boys. When we got together the protocol was checked at the door and playtime began. We made raising money and serving the community exciting. Meetings were short(ish) and bar nights were almost as much fun as a big leather event.
Like service, protocol has its place. Though many "rules" are common, protocol at its best is the execution of an agreement between a Dom and his/her sub. One thing that makes the DC boys of Leather a strong organization is that we see ourselves as a regular leather club. We demand the same respect as other organizations and expect our officers and members be given the same courtesy as any other member of the community. Submission was never a founding principle of the club. The DC boys of Leather is not a submissive organization, but a "safe space for boys." Our members could choose to submit, but that does not mean that the organization should be treated as "less than" other social clubs. It always took effort to maintain this viewpoint, but it was the job of club officers to stand up and not take shit from anyone.
Unfortunately, something changed after 2007. Prior to this time boy was still an umbrella term that slaves, switches, pups and others could live happily under. Bar nights were still fun, but the definition of a boy started to narrow. Labels that had lived happily under the umbrella started to break off. Some of those that maintained their "boyness" started coming to events with their Dom, spending the evening in service. Many of our switch brothers and independent boys started to drift.
In 2008 I became president of the DC boys of Leather. I started my presidency with a lot of high hopes. I branched the club out to other bars. I enforced our meeting cycle policy that limited business to once each quarter, and kept those business meetings as short as possible. I used the remaining meeting times for social and educational events. I wanted to officially define our club as a fun and safe place for boys, not simply a club for boys. I had several solutions that I hoped would address this problem.
1. With the help and feedback of our past presidents I proposed a bylaw amendment that changed our mission from:
I got involved in the leather community after a particularly turbulent time in my life. I was at odds with my parents for the first time in my adult life, my long term relationship had come to a catastrophic end, and I turned my back on the pursuit of one of my life's dreams. I credit two things for getting me into the scene. Ruff and Ross, who helped me work past any kink shame I had and were always a hell of fun to be with, and the DC boys of Leather, who were welcoming and accepted me as I was.
In my early years one thing was clear to me; leather is supposed to be fun. I had a blast going to contests, runs, bar nights. I couldn't wait to put on my newest gear. Most importantly I always looked forward for an opportunity to be a boy. Being "in service" was well and good, I had plenty of opportunities for that, but I enjoyed being silly with other boys. At that time the DC boys was a "no Sirs allowed" space for me. In 2004 we only had a couple collared boys. By 2006 we were over 20 strong and still consisted mostly of independent boys.
I've never had an issue with a boy being collared. Being collared or not never had affect on the safe space of the DC boys. When we got together the protocol was checked at the door and playtime began. We made raising money and serving the community exciting. Meetings were short(ish) and bar nights were almost as much fun as a big leather event.
Like service, protocol has its place. Though many "rules" are common, protocol at its best is the execution of an agreement between a Dom and his/her sub. One thing that makes the DC boys of Leather a strong organization is that we see ourselves as a regular leather club. We demand the same respect as other organizations and expect our officers and members be given the same courtesy as any other member of the community. Submission was never a founding principle of the club. The DC boys of Leather is not a submissive organization, but a "safe space for boys." Our members could choose to submit, but that does not mean that the organization should be treated as "less than" other social clubs. It always took effort to maintain this viewpoint, but it was the job of club officers to stand up and not take shit from anyone.
Unfortunately, something changed after 2007. Prior to this time boy was still an umbrella term that slaves, switches, pups and others could live happily under. Bar nights were still fun, but the definition of a boy started to narrow. Labels that had lived happily under the umbrella started to break off. Some of those that maintained their "boyness" started coming to events with their Dom, spending the evening in service. Many of our switch brothers and independent boys started to drift.
In 2008 I became president of the DC boys of Leather. I started my presidency with a lot of high hopes. I branched the club out to other bars. I enforced our meeting cycle policy that limited business to once each quarter, and kept those business meetings as short as possible. I used the remaining meeting times for social and educational events. I wanted to officially define our club as a fun and safe place for boys, not simply a club for boys. I had several solutions that I hoped would address this problem.
1. With the help and feedback of our past presidents I proposed a bylaw amendment that changed our mission from:
"MISSION: The mission of the DC Boys of Leather is to provide our members a supportive environment to have fun, learn, educate, socialize, contribute, and grow as individuals and as members of our community.
"PURPOSE: The DC Boys of Leather is a group of self-identified leather-boys. The term leather-boy is defined as broadly as possible with the intent of being inclusive, and boy not being based on sex, gender, sexual orientation, age, or appearance. Our purpose is to gather in brotherhood and boyhood, supporting our members and our community with respect and integrity.
To:
"MISSION: The mission of the DC Boys of Leather is to provide our members a supportive environment to have fun, learn, educate, socialize, contribute, and grow as individuals and as members of our community.
"PURPOSE: Our purpose is to gather in brotherhood, supporting our members, encouraging growth, exploration, development, and discovery while supporting our community with respect and integrity. The DC boys of Leather is a group with a common dedication to service and devotion to the leather community. We define the term “boys of Leather” as broadly as possible with the intent of being inclusive, and not being based on sex, gender, sexual orientation, sex role preference, age, or appearance or other qualities prohibited by law.2. I launched this site in hopes of having an ongoing, open conversation about the issues challenging the DC boys of Leather and the community at large.
"In order to explore the unique complexities of identity in the BDSM/Leather communities, the DC boys of Leather have launched the Leather Identity Project. My concept is simple, ask questions and present data. This collection of data will help us explore trends of leather identity over time. Surveys are short and anonymous. Data is presented periodically and available to everyone.
