Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Relationship Models

Relationships in the Leather Community are often interesting to those looking from outside. We often attempt to model our relationship in a particular way. There is no perfect formula, and no two relationships are alike, but people do tend to choose from a few standard options.

Cheating, jealousy, and equality are all issues in most relationships. In the Leather Community we've attempted to address these "problems' by establishing parameters to define appropriate conduct.

I asked if jealously was a problem instead of asking if there was jealousy because I wanted to explore how relationships addressed it. My husband an I are in an open relationship with rules and one of the ways we address jealousy is by allowing a "veto rule." Although both of us have been angry when the other invoked the rule, we've always talked about it after emotions have subsided and are often able to defuse the original cause of the jealousy. With D/s relationships I'm curious how each party defuses jealousy without creating tension.

As the same sex marriage became a political issue it was opposed as a focus by some in the Leather Community. It was often described as the "wrong issue." I herd this far more often by those in D/s relationships than by those in other relationship models. We can see this sentiment clearly below.

While I am not surprised by this question's answers, I can't help but wonder how those outside of the community would have answered it. Equality in relationships is a major issue, in the Leather Community it is addressed by rules in a way that non-protocol based relationships do not.
Roles are individual to most relationships. We all establish standard behavioral practices when at home and in public. I believe those in the Leather Community tend to talk about it more. Roles are often organic and change over time. How is this reality accommodated when protocol defines roles?