Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Leather Pride

Gay pride, take it or leave it, is a major part of urban life. Wether you like it or not, there is often a noticeable absence of leather visibility at pride. Perhaps the leather folks don't feel welcome to come out in leather, or perhaps its too damn hot. 

Whatever the reason I'm curious what you all with pride. Do you wear your leather, or at least some leather out to pride? Do you attend at all? This isn't a formal survey, but it's fun to see what people do.

Are you attending pride in leather or gear?

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Happy Daddy's Day

Over the past year I've been thinking a lot about the relationships between Sirs and boys. I can't help but feel like Daddies are left out of the conversation far too often.

Like many I started exploring kink online. My first Dom was on the site Alt.com. He was in Houston and I in DC, but our correspondences changed my life. At the time I wanted to be a slave, but he insisted that I was not. He saw my playfulness and my desire to serve as telltale signs that I was a boy at heart. He explained the differences between a Master/slave and a Daddy/boy relationship. He said that we could use whatever words we wanted; Sir/boy, Sir/pup, the wording was irrelevant. It was our power dynamic that mattered.

I consider Daddy Jim Raymond to be my first "real world" Daddy. Like a father, Daddy Jim has shaped me and other boys into more balanced individuals through his example and leadership, not adherence to protocol alone. We haven't always seen eye to eye, but he has always shown faith that I would do the right thing for myself and for my community. With him I fear disapproval more than punishment. Unlike some outsiders, Daddy Jim has always used his honorary membership in the DC boys to play devils advocate and to encourage us to make our own decisions after thoroughly considering all the consequences.

To me, the Daddy/boy relationship serves both parties. They structure their relationship through growth, compromise and agreement. Daddies embrace the differences between boys and understand that no two are alike. Daddies are nurturing and caring individuals who want us to bring our best to every situation. Finally, Daddies know that one day a boy needs to stand on his/her own and define himself/herself without requiring another to provide that definition. Far too often I am frustrated when I see boys exit long term D/s relationships no better equipped to make their own decisions, manage their finances, or understand the importance of honoring commitments. As with vanilla relationships, D/s relationships should be mutually beneficial.

I lean on mentors to help me be a better person. Daddies have helped me in that pursuit. Shaping the future leaders of the community is a more noble path than rigidly defined roles and self gratification alone.

Happy Daddy's day Daddy Jim, and Happy Daddy's day to all the men and women who strengthen our community through mentorship, compassion, and understanding.