DATA: Race in the Leather Community

Race is a touchy subject. I wanted to approach this topic sensitively while also providing relevant information. I'd like to begin by apologizing for my language choices in this report. "White participants," "other races," and "non-white" are an unfortunate side effects of reducing information to numbers. I am very aware that differences between individuals from different racial and cultural backgrounds can be significant, but when reviewing the data I was ultimately exploring how white and non-white members of the community answered these questions differently.

Leather Titles

I have mixed feelings about leather titles. I think those best served by leather titles are the title holders and contestants themselves. Running for a contest can be a huge confidence boost for the men and women who choose to compete. It takes guts to expose yourself on stage. For most, running for a title is a positive experience. In fact, more than half of those who have participated in a contest have competed in more than one. 69% of participants who have competed in a contest report that they have won at least one contest. If at first you don't succeed...

My husband is a title holder for this current year and winning has been an amazing experience for him. He's met people from across the country and made some lasting friendships. He also shows a comfort working a crowd that he never had before. This boost alone has increased his confidence at work and at home. He has kept his goals modest, simply to promote his bar and increase awareness of the leather community.

Unfortunately titles can also have a darker side to them. Winning can bring out the worst qualities in some people. It can also give false authority to a winner, allowing him or her to pass on bad or destructive information to new members of the community. Living under a microscope is a stressful experience, and this can push some to do negative things.

Mixer: Gay, Straight, Bi

I'd like to start by saying this was a hard survey write and analyze. I'm not sure I did it justice, and I apologize for this. I believe that gender and orientation divide the leather community in negative way. We don't need to wander down the path of political correctness to diversify. If anything I prefer the leather community's willingness to kick social norms in the ass. Preferring same gender or orientation play spaces doesn't make you an asshole, but there is no reason we can't make a greater effort to be more tolerant in social settings.

It's no surprise that gay men are frequently unwilling to engage in sexual acts around people of different orientations and genders, but the reverse is true for social interaction. 75% of gay men have attended mixed orientation/gender social events and an additional 5% would be willing to. These numbers don't change remarkably when broken down by age and sex role. The 25% who are not willing to attend mixed social events can't be explained by friendship homogeny alone. 

Switches and gay males in their 50's were the only groups who deviated significantly from other participants regarding mixed social event attendance. Gay male switches were 14% less likely than Doms and subs to attend mixed social events. Gay male participants in their 50's were 23% less likely to attend mixed social events. Gay males in their 50's have 16% fewer gay friends than other gay males and gay male switches have the same number of gay friends. The lack of correlation between friendship homogeny and willingness to attend mixed social events in these groups suggest another variable. 

Sexual attraction alone can't be the deciding factor. Although the survey didn't adequately explore the topic, all bisexuals, women, and trans participants were willing to attend mixed orientation social events. These three groups were also more accepting open play spaces.

My conclusion is that there is something about the gay male portion of the leather community that differs from other groups. Clearly there is more to explore. Please feel free to send any questions I should have asked my way. A future survey could look at gay men more specifically.

Survey Data

Does Your Mother Know?

I often draw a destination between the sexual elements of the community and the social ones. The leather community is a one composed of sexually liberated individuals, not necessarily a community for sexually liberated individuals. Because of this I have little problem being open about my involvement in the community. I may not want to share my sexual adventures with the world, but I have no issue being proud of my social involvement. 

Many of those entering the community, or indeed those involved in it, do not draw this distinction. I find that considering community and sexuality mutually exclusive to be alienating to those on the outside.

The "Does Your Mother Know?" survey explores how individuals distinguish these issues. Most do on some level, others do not.

To give some perspective here, 211 people participated in this survey. People are surprisingly open about kink and community involvement with their vanilla friends. Family and co-workers are equally informed in social involvement, and not surprisingly kept in the dark about sex.

27% (27 participants) work in kink friendly carriers, just over half of those who are open about kink with co-workers. Between 7% and 9% only have kinky friends and friends in the community. All three of these groups are a small, but vocal, minority.

Most of us have to balance both worlds, deal with conflicting values from our family and friends, and choose our battles. My husband tend to be more open than is probably good, but it does weed out those that find our personal life objectionable. Sure it can be painful when friends and family result to irrational judgement, but values are subjective. As marriage and other "social norms" permeate our community this conflict will only become more relevant as we maintain our preferred relationship models.

Once or twice a year I have the privilege of doing a S&M demo at my alma mater. Pouring hot wax onto 18 to 22 year old co-eds is fun, but it also presents an opportunity. My co-presenters and myself are always asked "do you have 'real' jobs, or do you do this full time?" The awe of their reaction when we reveal our mundane careers is always amusing. Their belief that we exist permanently on the fringes of society is understandable. It also fuels so many fears about coming leather bars and other social centers. Coming out and living openly can help so many closeted individuals know they can be open and happy about their orientation. Similarly, being open about our community involvement helps those who are afraid to know it's a safe space. We can invite others to join us by making it clear that we are far more dynamic than erotic fiction would indicate.

review unedited raw data

Barrier to Entry (leather bar attendance)

There are factors that keep people coming and keep people away from Leather Bars. This break out will explore the reasons for both. At the end of the day, some patience is necessary from the regulars and some adventurousness is necessary from the newbies.

Geography and parking is the biggest barrier keeping people away from bars. The simple fact is their can't be a bar in every town, and traveling to the city isn't an option for everyone. I'm working on a guide for those who are looking for a sense of community without having geographic access to a Leather or Leather friendly bar. There are ways to develop a sense of community without traveling, sometimes it simply means opening up your mind.

I've organized some of the most common factors keeping people coming and keeping people away in the lists below. I've paired reasons by disconnect.

Keeps People Coming	Keeps People Away
not too loud edgy bartenders are friendly tag along with kinky partner friendly relaxed atmosphere community sense of belonging HIV accepting clubs see same faces meet likeminded people mentoring atmosphere comfortable wearing gear exhibitionism know what others are into by look scuttlebutt (gossup) cruising smoking areas	too loud nervous rude staff partner is vanilla arrogant uninviting sub groups clicks inexperienced dark grose bathrooms no one dresses up drama being  judged smoking areas

The takeaway from this list is that there are no simple solutions. I've broken my advice into three categories; advice for bars, advice for bar regulars, and advice for newbies. I'm not an expert here, but this advice is based on what people want. Everyone needs to put a little work in to make things better.

Bars:

1. Cleanliness: I know for a fact that my local bar cleans regularly, but basic facilities are a problem. People want clean bathrooms with closing stall doors. keeping the bath facilities well lit and sterile looking may take away from the ambiance, but it also sends a message that bathrooms arn't sex dens. Some patrons want a place to hook up, but many new ones are intimidated by not having a comfortable place to piss.
2. Smoking Areas: Not everyone is into cigar smoke. Enough people are that it should be available, but make sure the smoking area is separate from the rest of the bar so non-smoking patrons won't get turned off.
3. Websites: I went to a lot of web sites, and none were good sources of information about leather bars or leather bar culture. Guides about etiquette, basic dress do's and don'ts, and well kept calendars are key. People are regularly upset about parking, so if you are mass transit accessible let people know that on the site.
4. Changing Areas: Many bars have lockers available to remove layers once you get there. If you're bar has such facilities advertise that fact.
5. Welcome Feedback: Tradition is an important part of leather bar culture, but that doesn't mean things shouldn't change when they aren't working. You shouldn't ignore valuable feedback simply because "You can't please everyone."

Regulars:

1. Be Less Judgmental: You were new once too. The young man or woman dressed inappropriately or behaving disrespectfully may not know any better. If you want bars to thrive into the future then you have to help bring new people into the fold. It's also important to let them put their generation's spin on the community.
2. Wear Gear: Instead of bitching about no one wearing gear, gear up yourself. There is no reason for anyone else to dress up if you aren't willing to first.
3. Be Friendly: You don't have to want to have sex with someone to be polite to them. You also don't need to take every person under your wing to be friendly. New people regularly see members of the community as rude to outsiders. We know how supportive the community can be, don't turn someone off before they can discover that for themselves. Remember that the "twinks" who came out in a group may be uncomfortable coming alone. They may just need a mentor or a friendly face to keep them coming out.
4. Come Out More: If you're sick of bars being empty then come out more.
5. Check the Drama at the Door: Club, bar, and title politics are a constant source of gossip and drama at the bar. To an outsider it can sound like leather men are a bunch of backstabbing jerks.
6. Speak Up: Leather bar managers and owners have to walk a type rope to keep as many people happy as possible. Support their efforts to try new things, but also don't be afraid to respectfully express your point of view.

Newbies:

1. Evaluate Your Priorities: Do you want a D/s relationship, or do you want a community? There is absolutely no reason you can't have both, but sometimes searching for a Sir or a slave can prevent you from seeing possible friendships that could support you in your journey. Making friends in the community also helps you network in a way that online personal sites never could.
2. Be Outgoing: Regulars see leather bars as a welcoming place that creates a sense of family and community. This atmosphere doesn't need to be hard to break into. If you feel unwelcome, try to remember that you are the new one. People should be more friendly, but so should you. It's your job to try and introduce yourself. Although they may seem clicky from the outside try to look for club nights at bars, clubs often want new members. Even thought you may not want to join, it's a good way to meet people and no one will mind if you remain a GDI (God Damn Independent). 
3. Its about Sex & Community: Although people do hook up at leather bars, it's not the only reason people go. You don't have to want to have sex to go. Many are there to talk and have fun too. Often those looking for sex are in different areas of the bar than those who are there to socialize. If you want to meet people go to where people are talking, not making out. Also consider that you don't only have to talk to people you are attracted to. That "old man" on a bar stool could be an invaluable source of information and friendship.

We often hear about reaching out to "young people" when talking about keeping the community alive. We can see below that those born between 1981 and 1990 are as likely to attend leather bars monthly as those born a decade earlier. In all likelihood their attendance is growing. Those born between 1961 and 1970 are the most likely to attend regularly, but those older drop off quickly.

One regular anomaly is the dip in those born between 1971 and 1980. This absence is present in nearly every survey. Because these individuals would have been in their 20's during the 1990's one could assume their absence is a continuing legacy of the AIDS epidemic. The positive outcome of those terrible years is that the Leather community is largely accepting of those who are HIV positive. This acceptance is strength of leather bars and the leather community at large. Although some choose not to play safer, the leather bars are a place where being positive doesn't need to be a secret shame.

Monthly attendees of leather bars tend to be mixed by role, but the "regulars" tend to be subs and Doms. Being able to express protocol in an accepting environment was a common reason that keeps people coming out. Switches consistently have the highest participation in LIP surveys, but we can see here that they may frequent leather bars, but don't necessarily make them their home.

My final take away is that leather bars are still attracting people. Attendance may be down, but as homosexuality becomes more mainstream we can expect a smaller counter culture community. That means that those of us that remain need to be more tolerant of each other. Specializing your identity is empowering, but also chops up community resources. Be yourself, but work together and respect differences.

- view the unedited raw data for this survey -

Happy ______!

Before joining the leather community my winter holidays were uniformly  Christmas oriented. Now I have friends of many faiths  and exposure to more and more people from different backgrounds have introduced me to new traditions. The leather community is one of choice, and consequently it's a melting pot that society at large could never be.  I wanted this survey to be an exploration of what is considered to be one of the happiest, if not most stressful, times of year. 


Christmas and New Years are the most celebrated holidays, but Winter Solstice has a significant percentage of participants. I was surprised how few participants reported celebrating Hanukah. It will be interesting to explore the religious elements of this survey in a future survey.

This survey reviled that those not close their families are twice as likely to spend the holidays alone, and also a third less likely to spend it with a significant other. My survey didn't ask how many wanted to spend the holidays alone, but it does show that only half of those who spend the holiday season alone also do not celebrate any holidays at all. 

Chosen families are an important component of the leather community. One community leader often refers to his home as "the island of misfit toys," which is particularly relevant considering it references a Christmas holiday classic. Loosing ties with one's biological family is an unfortunate reality for some. Creating new families is a powerful option. Nearly half of participants entertain during the holidays. If you are fortunate enough to be near a leather bar, some are open 365 days a year, including holidays.

- view the unedited raw data for this survey -

Relationship Models

Relationships in the Leather Community are often interesting to those looking from outside. We often attempt to model our relationship in a particular way. There is no perfect formula, and no two relationships are alike, but people do tend to choose from a few standard options.

Cheating, jealousy, and equality are all issues in most relationships. In the Leather Community we've attempted to address these "problems' by establishing parameters to define appropriate conduct.

I asked if jealously was a problem instead of asking if there was jealousy because I wanted to explore how relationships addressed it. My husband an I are in an open relationship with rules and one of the ways we address jealousy is by allowing a "veto rule." Although both of us have been angry when the other invoked the rule, we've always talked about it after emotions have subsided and are often able to defuse the original cause of the jealousy. With D/s relationships I'm curious how each party defuses jealousy without creating tension.

As the same sex marriage became a political issue it was opposed as a focus by some in the Leather Community. It was often described as the "wrong issue." I herd this far more often by those in D/s relationships than by those in other relationship models. We can see this sentiment clearly below.

While I am not surprised by this question's answers, I can't help but wonder how those outside of the community would have answered it. Equality in relationships is a major issue, in the Leather Community it is addressed by rules in a way that non-protocol based relationships do not.

  

Roles are individual to most relationships. We all establish standard behavioral practices when at home and in public. I believe those in the Leather Community tend to talk about it more. Roles are often organic and change over time. How is this reality accommodated when protocol defines roles?

- view the unedited raw data for this survey -

What are you into?

I started this survey as a fun way to explore the prevalence of kinks in the community and explore a number of talking points. Fetishes like "leather," "bondage," and "S&M" were nearly universal, but for many less common and less specific fetishes are what get them to come out in the first place. 

We are often talking about "inviting new people into the community" and how "the leather community embraces individuality," but we have a lot of rules too. Sometimes our "limits" turn off the newbies. 

Over 40% of those polled are into sports gear. It's one of the most popular kinks out there. Fewer than 3% consider it a limit. Given this disconnect why do I frequently hear about how "it's not appropriate." Similar stats are true for rubber and other gear fetishes. I'm not the first to suggest that Leather is gear, and although I agree that it’s HOT, it also has a high cost component. For many people sports gear, lycra, and neoprene are HOT for a lower cost. By limiting appropriate attire we are preventing those new to the scene from coming in at all. Sure, there are events like "Leather Cocktails" and other formal events where you wouldn't want someone in a wrestling singlet or football pads, but the success of events like CODE in DC show the power of inviting everyone out.

"Inviting young people into the community" is often a talking point in conversations. I was fortunate to have two sources of guidance when entering the community, my friend Ruff and the members of the DC boys of Leather. Both taught me that this community is about being yourself, playing safe, and having fun. By expecting a high standard for entry we are providing a disservice to those finding partners online and taking unnecessary risks. If you don't believe they are taking unnecessary risks I invite you to look at the "Safe Sex" data for HIV status in those 20-30.

Kinks are fun! For many this community is one of few places where you can explore them without judgment. I had the benefit of teachers who helped me explore my kinks safely, and I do my best to do the same for others.

- view the unedited raw data for this survey -

- send us feedback or help decide the next topic -

Switch Up!

Role reversal and switching can often be a contentious issue in discussion groups. Interestingly enough, the community is fairly unified on this topic. Role reversal is most debated in circles which emphasize fixed roles, often those in D/s relationships. Our "Relationship Models" survey explores the prevalence of different relationship models including D/s ones where protocol plays a visible role.

This survey deliberately applies its questions to individuals. Its data shows that the community is fairly unified in their approval of role reversal.

Why the uneven breakdown of age groups? Each age group has greater than 25 participants.

Any number fewer than 25 is too few to be considered random. 

To view the unedited raw data for this survey click here

Safe Sex

One of the leather community's greatest strengths is its acceptance of HIV positive individuals. While stigma is still prevalent, members of the community tend to be more educated about the risks and how to "play safer" than their non-leather counterparts. How does increased acceptance effect how the community views bareback sex and bareback porn? Could it be possible that our emphasis on acceptance increases our tolerance of what others consider high risk behavior? These questions inspired this survey. Its data is outlined below.

This chart separates the data by HIV status and raises some interesting questions. HIV positive individuals are split on their views of the banning of bareback porn despite their higher likelihood to engage in bareback sex, approve of the selling and showing of bareback porn. Inversely, HIV negative individuals generally do not seek out bareback sex, disapprove of showing bareback porn at bars, but oppose its being banned.

What was most compelling was the differences between the 41-50 age group and the <21-30 age group. These groups have the highest rate of self reported HIV infection. They have very different views on banning of bareback porn, despite their common views about showing and selling it. Can this difference at least partially explained by their different views about whether or not bareback enthusiasm is a lifestyle?

In previous surveys I've realized that I should have asked more, or different questions. The same is true here. This data would have been more clear if I had asked "Do you enjoy bareback prorn?" or "Have you purchased bareback porn?" Perhaps we can explore this issue differently in the future.

Click the link here if you would like to see the unedited raw data of this survey.

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What is a boy?

We use ‘boy’ as both an identity and as a label. This issue is approached  at  many events by holding panel discussions on the topic; the most useful include other labels/identities so the differences are made distinct. The one major obstacle this approach encounters is that ‘boy’ means something different to everyone. While there are obvious differences in opinions, the data can be used so that boys/non-boys can better serve each other. Hopefully this information will better define what ‘boys’ want, what is expected of them, and how they’re perceived by those with less experience. Demographics Explaining the Data This survey resulted in 145 submittals and 67 unique words. Many words were well represented and stand on their own. Similar under-represented words were combined. service oriented (serve, service, accommodating) dedicated (devoted, Loyal) playful (playful, energetic, mischievous, adventurous, young-at-heart) sexuality & what they wear (sensual, sexy, hot, delicious, horny, clothing, full leather wearing,  gear. leather) slave like (slave, owned) Proud (proud, strong, tough) Attentive (attentive, pleasing) boy/boi The remaining words were unique and consequently were difficult to combine. For this reason they were categorized as "other." Many were excellent descriptive words, but represented less than 1% of submitted terms. Words in the “other” category are explored in the two charts below. boys/non-boys and those who are not sure if they are boys with/without experience with boys Data Analysis As a boy, I’ve noticed that there is often a difference between how boys see themselves and how non-boys see them. Often this problem is simply semantics, but other times it’s a fundamental problem. The chart to the above shows this problem. We combined non-boys and those not sure (TNS) in red, and boys in blue. The emphasis on sexuality and what boys wear as a common factor for many boys was particularly interesting. In this survey as many boys thought sexuality, and gear (defined as all fetish wear from leather to sports gear) were as those who thought submission was important. Those not sure saw masculinity and confidence as uniquely defining qualities in boys. The full details separating boys, non-boys and TNS are detailed in the above chart. You can also examine the un-edited data by downloading the full PDF of this report. Those with no experience of boys were the only ones to choose confidence as a defining quality of boys. They also see dedication in place of being “service oriented.” It’s interesting that those who know boys do not see confidence. Perhaps it’s because so many boys seek out mentors to help give their lives direction. In either case it’s a topic worth discussion.  We also see that those with no personal experience of boys are more likely to see a boy as “slave like.” This means that boys and non-boys alike still have work to do to draw the distinctions between a boy and a slave. A full breakdown of the differences between those with and without experience with boys is listed below. download PDF of this data report