Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Clarification on "Sex Role Preferences"

I'd like to take a moment to clarify one of the questions I use in every survey. It is my view that human sexuality is far more complicated than defining between dominant and submissive. In fact I have a three dimensional view of sexuality shown in the chart below.

The reason I ask everyone to define themselves as dom, sub, or switch is because I believe sex role preference influences opinions in the community. For me, sex role is limited to dominant, submissive, and switch because I consider "level of sexuality" and "level of kinkiness" as separate dimensions of sexuality. People can be anything from asexual doms to vanilla subs. I've also deliberately simplified the vocabulary to preclude words which have different meanings in different circles. Subs and doms do not always see eye to eye and switches often see issues differently. I ask you to define yourself not because I am trying to box you in, but because it's a spectrum that everyone falls on. If you feel that neither "dom" or "sub" defines you, I challenge you to ask "do I desire to take or give control to an other?" If you do both depending on sexual chemistry, then perhaps you should consider identifying as a switch

I also draw a destination between labels and sex role preferences. Some labels are clearly defined as dominant or submissive, others are not. I am a boy, but I see myself as a switch much of the time. I've learned a lot in my years and situations arise where I feel more comfortable taking control. These roles are fluid, so if you feel dominant today, it doesn't mean you have to identify as "dominant" tomorrow.