Happy Daddy's Day

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Mr. ?

Leather titles are a significant part of the leather experience. Contests, being the core of many leather events, provide a setting to bring people together. While many see titles as the backbone of the leather experience others look down on them. Both leather title advocates and "sash queen" dissmissers are vocal members of the community. As with most things the loudest often have the most extreme opinions. 

Those with mixed feelings often don't speak up on their viewpoint. Where do you stand on leather titles?

Mixer: Gay, Straight, Bi

I'd like to start by saying this was a hard survey write and analyze. I'm not sure I did it justice, and I apologize for this. I believe that gender and orientation divide the leather community in negative way. We don't need to wander down the path of political correctness to diversify. If anything I prefer the leather community's willingness to kick social norms in the ass. Preferring same gender or orientation play spaces doesn't make you an asshole, but there is no reason we can't make a greater effort to be more tolerant in social settings.

It's no surprise that gay men are frequently unwilling to engage in sexual acts around people of different orientations and genders, but the reverse is true for social interaction. 75% of gay men have attended mixed orientation/gender social events and an additional 5% would be willing to. These numbers don't change remarkably when broken down by age and sex role. The 25% who are not willing to attend mixed social events can't be explained by friendship homogeny alone. 

Switches and gay males in their 50's were the only groups who deviated significantly from other participants regarding mixed social event attendance. Gay male switches were 14% less likely than Doms and subs to attend mixed social events. Gay male participants in their 50's were 23% less likely to attend mixed social events. Gay males in their 50's have 16% fewer gay friends than other gay males and gay male switches have the same number of gay friends. The lack of correlation between friendship homogeny and willingness to attend mixed social events in these groups suggest another variable. 

Sexual attraction alone can't be the deciding factor. Although the survey didn't adequately explore the topic, all bisexuals, women, and trans participants were willing to attend mixed orientation social events. These three groups were also more accepting open play spaces.

My conclusion is that there is something about the gay male portion of the leather community that differs from other groups. Clearly there is more to explore. Please feel free to send any questions I should have asked my way. A future survey could look at gay men more specifically.

Survey Data

Boys' Club Census

While working on the history page for the dc boys of leather I've discovered it's very difficult to locate information about which boys clubs have existed, what year they formed, and which ones are still active. I've decided to address this problem by asking for your help. There are boy clubs all over the continent. Some are thriving while others have disbanded or changed their name. Please help me compile a history of when these clubs formed and which ones still exist. Feel free to participate as many times as you want, my goal is to find out information about as many clubs as possible. Participate in the census.

I'd also like some high resolution images of club colors. I can pilfer around on the web, but a lot of you probably have some good images saved on your computers. If you have one please provide your email address and let me know in the survey.

Does Your Mother Know?

I often draw a destination between the sexual elements of the community and the social ones. The leather community is a one composed of sexually liberated individuals, not necessarily a community for sexually liberated individuals. Because of this I have little problem being open about my involvement in the community. I may not want to share my sexual adventures with the world, but I have no issue being proud of my social involvement. 

Many of those entering the community, or indeed those involved in it, do not draw this distinction. I find that considering community and sexuality mutually exclusive to be alienating to those on the outside.

The "Does Your Mother Know?" survey explores how individuals distinguish these issues. Most do on some level, others do not.

To give some perspective here, 211 people participated in this survey. People are surprisingly open about kink and community involvement with their vanilla friends. Family and co-workers are equally informed in social involvement, and not surprisingly kept in the dark about sex.

27% (27 participants) work in kink friendly carriers, just over half of those who are open about kink with co-workers. Between 7% and 9% only have kinky friends and friends in the community. All three of these groups are a small, but vocal, minority.

Most of us have to balance both worlds, deal with conflicting values from our family and friends, and choose our battles. My husband tend to be more open than is probably good, but it does weed out those that find our personal life objectionable. Sure it can be painful when friends and family result to irrational judgement, but values are subjective. As marriage and other "social norms" permeate our community this conflict will only become more relevant as we maintain our preferred relationship models.

Once or twice a year I have the privilege of doing a S&M demo at my alma mater. Pouring hot wax onto 18 to 22 year old co-eds is fun, but it also presents an opportunity. My co-presenters and myself are always asked "do you have 'real' jobs, or do you do this full time?" The awe of their reaction when we reveal our mundane careers is always amusing. Their belief that we exist permanently on the fringes of society is understandable. It also fuels so many fears about coming leather bars and other social centers. Coming out and living openly can help so many closeted individuals know they can be open and happy about their orientation. Similarly, being open about our community involvement helps those who are afraid to know it's a safe space. We can invite others to join us by making it clear that we are far more dynamic than erotic fiction would indicate.

review unedited raw data

Mixer: gay, straight, & bi

The leather community is a diverse and dynamic place. We're divided along lines of orientation, gender, and protocol level. Sometimes we all come together and celebrate, but more commonly we gather with those like ourselves. I've always seen the Leather Community as both sexual and social. Individual limitations of the former drastically influence the latter. How do you feel about the social and sexual mixing of individuals of different backgrounds? 

-click here to participate in the survey-

Leatherwear Basics

One thing that the "Barrier to Entry" survey made painfully obvious was a lack of easy to find guides for those intimidated by entering leather community. My first handout gives some basic leather-wear advice for those who think they don't have anything to wear. In truth nearly everyone has the right clothing to wear into a leather bar. Download PDF